Reply to S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?

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Reply to "S/O what do you gain from maintaining a a friendship with a man whose wife hates you?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Well, I assume everyone is straight here, and we are talking about "BFF" type friendships between the DH or the DW and another person of the opposite gender.  I assume we are not talking about friends who might grab lunch together here and there, or mid-level friendships that are very out in the open and inclusive.  I assume we are talking about "BFF" type closeness, which would mean that the two people spend a ton of time talking - either in person or electronically some how, plus some degree of emotional intimacy that is more complex than just "I want what's best for my friend."

I think in a few of these cases, you have a long-time female friend who realizes that her male friend has become caught up in a seriously toxic relationship, and the female plays the long game out of genuine concern for her friend, who will likely end up in some dumpster fire of a divorce at some point.

However, in more cases, I believe there is some sort of sexual alchemy that can be unspoken.  When you're talking about trying to maintain a marriage over the course of many decades, I don't think it is good to have opposite gender "close friends" just kind of always there and circling like sharks, seemingly waiting for something to happen.  I think it is also weird, because if a man and a woman get along really well, I think it is natural for them to get together at some point.  I wouldn't want to marry a man who had one of these friends.  I think the friendship is a further risk when it is not clear why they are not together.  You're pretty much asking for one of them to wonder what might have been during one of their late night conversations. Mother nature is NOT on the wife's side here.

Each friendship should be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but a lot of these type situations sure do have a "back up plan" type feel to them.  [/quote]

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