Reply to Having a good “check in” with you spouse

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We had a few "state of the union" talks when we first got married. Kind of like "hey, I want to bring this up now because I think if it keeps going I'll silently resent you until our marriage blows up so is there any way you could change this one thing I know you had NO idea has been bothering me" type of talks.

But we go out just the two of us once a week and he's even better at communicating than I am.[/quote]

OP here. This is what I had hoped for and am still hoping for. But I feel there is some resentment. Perhaps when we were dating I should have really considered the communication issue. I’ve found that he leaves a lot of decisions in my court but I often wonder if it’s just a way to avoid blame.

Again, sadly, [b]I feel like such a check-in talk would devolve into a vicious attack from him. My gut tells me to be prepared for ugliness[/b]. [/quote]

The bolded makes me think therapy might be a good idea for you - you alone at first, and then bring him in.  DH and I literally had talks about my pajamas - he asked me to limit my flannel pjs from college that have ducks and flamingos on them to less frequently than all the time.  I asked him to stop leaving the dog's toys all over the floor when he finished playing with her.  It was truly small things that neither of us realized bothered the other.  We both literally said, "Oh! Yeah, okay sure." 
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