Reply to Things my husband has blamed me for in the last week.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like this behavior is unacceptable to you, OP. (And that’s reasonable; most people wouldn’t accept it.) Yet, by keeping a tally and taking the blame some of the time, the message you send is that it’s kind of ok to a point. Of course your husband is the one in the wrong, and ideally he would stop. But if it’s behavior modification you seek, you need avoid reinforcing this pattern. So, yes, go to counseling. And stop engaging with him when he blame shifts. Name the behavior and walk away. “I’ll talk to you when you’re ready to take responsibility for your actions” is all you have to say. Don’t argue or explain. Leave the house if he insists on having it out. He needs to learn to live with the daily discomfort of taking responsibility for small mistakes. [/quote]

This is great advice. I’d go to counseling to set up the new rules with support from the therapist.  When you do a big rule change, like going from you’re allowed to blame me for everything to you may not blame me for any of your mistakes or things beyond my control, you might meet resistance. It can be helpful to have a neutral third party to guide you through the process and to help him see how his behavior affects you and his relationship with you. [/quote]

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