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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We're in the be content with an only child group.  I got pregnant on the first try with my son, and had a super easy pregnancy and delivery.  Started TTC #2 when he was 10 months old.  He is now 6 and I've never been pregnant again.  Was told I have unexplained secondary infertility.  IUIs, IVFs, and surgery all failed.  All tests normal for me and my hubs.  I am nowhere near menopause and have textbook perfect cycles.  I eat mainly organic, exercise, and live a clean and healthy lifestyle.

We are still TTC but on our own.  However I have zero hope that I will ever be pregnant again at this point.  It has been an extremely frustrating journey, but we have decided not to pursue any more infertility treatments, donor egg, or adoption.  I am trying to focus on all the benefits of being OAD.  With my son being 6 already, I am starting to feel too old to be pregnant again.

One of the many benefits of being OAD is that it really lets all 3 of us live our best lives.  My son can do tons of activities, my husband can really focus at work and do lots of extra trainings and pursue his hobbies, and I have gone back to work full-time at a career that I love.  We do a lot of traveling and all 3 of us are pursuing our hobbies and interests outside of school/work.  I am well-rested all the time, and have time to focus on exercise, eating healthy, and self care.  I don't think I'd be able to do any of these things if I had more than one child, so instead of being down in the dumps all the time about it, I'm trying to focus on all the benefits.  [/quote]

That is a great attitude and I admire you for that perspective. How do you manage feelings (if any) of jealousy or bitterness toward those who have more than one?[/quote]

PP with the only child here.  Believe me, for the first two years of my infertility journey, I was a complete mess.  I was depressed, bitter, and angry but mostly just in complete disbelief that I got pregnant so easily the first time (with an easy pregnancy/delivery) and then was blindsided by a secondary infertility diagnosis a short time after giving birth!  I was constantly researching and trying to find answers.  I went to 6 REs.  All of them said unexplained.  I remember one of them said, "I think you'll be pregnant within the year."  That was 3 years ago!

The whole thing just felt very unfair.  I spent two years grieving for the expanded family I could never have.  I saw a therapist (which was useless).  I hated being asked by people "why don't you have more than one child?"  Then I realized all the mental energy I was expending on being sad that I could put toward other things, and I decided to stop being sad all the time and just accept and move on.  I gave away all the baby/toddler items when my son turned 4, which was difficult but helped me move forward.  I do still have a hard time with jealousy and bitterness but not every day anymore.  I have made a lot of friends with only children, and that helps.  I try to focus on all the positives of having an only.  And I focus a lot of self-care, which I know I could not do if I had more than one child.  I look at friends whose lives often seem to be in chaos with 2 + kids and I'm glad that I don't have to deal with that.

It's not the path that I would have chosen, but I truly think that it probably worked out for the best.[/quote]

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