Reply to What to do about DH’s late nights out

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'll be a little more generous to you here.

First, though, I agree that his occasional (weekly or biweekly) nights out with friends are NBD. If you had kids, I might think differently given his late work nights, but you don't so I don't get it. Especially since he spends his weekend nights with you.

Second, I wonder if maybe your issue here is that he never socializes with you after long days of work...but he will occasionally do so with friends. Pre-kids, my DH had a work schedule similar to yours...in fact, he frequently worked later than that. The work week really dragged on coming home to an empty apartment every day and going to bed before DH came home at least as often as not. DH was truly working until late those nights, but it would have made me sad that on the rare occasions he could come home early he chose not to spend the time with me. But, objectively, I knew he needed to nurture his friendships...so when he did say he was going out for a HH etc, I was always supportive verbally (even if I wasn't always happy about it).

What did help me a lot was to stop waiting around for him on evenings. I started going to a trainer, I scheduled classes, I made plans with friends, etc. I actually ended up building such a full weekday evening life that DH got annoyed that when he had a rare evening that he wanted to spend with me, I wasn't available.

Assuming you are planning to have kids, this time period is a blip in your lives. Don't make the time you do have together contentious...and I promise you that you will be happy he has healthy friendships when you have kids and he needs an objective male perspective. And take advantage of all of these free weeknights you have! What I wouldn't give to have the freedom again to go out to a movie, yoga class, drinks with friends whenever I wanted![/quote]

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