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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure if this is the right forum. I haven't called an attorney yet.

Is it possible to get more support in a divorce if your partner has abandoned the relationship? The information online is quite vague.

Husband withdrew from our marriage a few years ago. He repeatedly blamed this or that- he was distant bc he was stressed at work, the kids weren't sleeping, someone was sick, and all sorts of reasons. He basically withdrew from any normal marital expectation of love and interaction- he started with making reasons why he wouldn't go on dates, then refusing to plan family vacations - he would only use his vacation time for his family of origin. When I told him he felt distant, not affectionate, and this was not a functioning relationship, he would make excuses for his behavior, say he would try harder but it would never happen. I repeatedly asked him what was wrong, if he would go to counseling with me (he refused), if there was anything I could do differently because I was at a loss for what was happening. He eventually started sleeping separately, kept personal stuff (clothes etc) in another part of the house and finally told me he was done. He hasn't made any effort to work on our relationship nor repair any damage that I've been continually mentioning- it was getting worse and worse.  He also has said some awful words to me as well.

We have two young kids. I can't easily afford cost of living in my own household and would have never ever bailed on our relationship (though clearly I should have).

Should I litigate for abandonment and try to get more of the house? He never moved out, has always taken care of the kids, and contributed to finances. The issue is 100% withdrawal from our relationship despite my asking for counseling and attempt at repairing whatever went awry for him. I have emails outlining our issues, could affirm this situation with notes from visits with my therapist and other paper trail over time and he would be hard pressed to prove any effort.

I do not want to try to steal the kids or affect his relationship with them. I DO want significant support since his choice will affect me indefinitely living in a high cost of living area.

We are in VA.[/quote]

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