Reply to asking inlaws to not swoop in

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[quote=Anonymous]No, there's no way to ask your ILs not to do this. If they want to come and visit/help him, that's their choice. They can always say "no." His relationship with them is separate from your shared relationship with them. They can see each other wherever/whenever, as long as it doesn't involve you (when you're gone, it doesn't) and as long as they are good to your kids (I'm assuming they are.)

Is it absurd that he's calling upon them to come help every time? Yes. But you don't have a right to insert yourself into their relationship/travel/willingness to help.

What you CAN change:

1) Stop cooking dinner on Saturday night, or whatever night works best for you. He can cook, heat up leftovers, buy takeout, whatever. If he doesn't appear to be putting together any type of food, make yourself a bowl of cereal, and direct all requests for dinner from your kids to Daddy.

2) Write up a list of what you will be doing/when and present it to him. Tell him he needs to fill in the gaps. If he wants to discuss/negotiate, fine; he can schedule a time to meet with you and hash it out. But until then, this is what you're doing, and this is what you're not doing.[/quote]

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