Reply to Divorce over chores and WOHM

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[quote=Anonymous]1) Eeven hoarders deserve to get out of the house and have joy

2) Hiw many hours per day do you spend trying to fix the mess?  How many hours per weekend?  What is reasonable?  Set a reasonable goal.  Tell your husband, “I will work on the house for X hours on Saturdays.  But on Sundays, j get time to relax.”

3) Have you gotten treatment for the hoarding?

4) what does your DH do for the family other than WOG?

5) Can you spend money to work with a hoarding helper to begin to clear the ness?

My mother was a hoarder and lie was hell.  I struggle with hoarding tendencies but mostly keep the house presentable, with junk in drawers.  But I could not cope without a housekeeper every two weeks.  It’s a huge part of our budget but necessary for the wellness of the family.  I am not lazy but I am not good at housekeeping and there is only so much I can focus on.  Keeping clutter down is as good as I can do.  We outsource a deep cleaning twice a month.

You essentially have a disability around housekeeping.  It’s not laziness.  It’s your brain.  Your husband is an asshole to turn it into a character issue.  Instead, his poor character is showing.  He’s inflexible, stubborn, unhelpful, insensitive, unloving, and controlling.

Your kids deserve a clean house.  You need to work in it.  You deserve help.  And you should probably DtMFA.[/quote]

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