Reply to "Drama" in lieu of common sense?

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Reply to ""Drama" in lieu of common sense?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your husband "threw his back out" when you had cancer and you felt you couldn't ask for support because of this?

This isn't drama - this is being a straight up asshole.

The water damage is more of a common sense thing.  This is the sort of thing my husband would do - ugh.[/quote]

OP here.  That is what I am saying - the situation leaves no margin for "it could have been this, it could have been that...." or "maybe he didn't know you had cancer..." or "maybe he didn't see the two feet of water at the door, while he was looking out the window at it..."  No second guessing.  The situations are black and white, and DH consistently chooses the worst possible avenue.  It's as if he is a glutton for punishment.  We don't have the money to keep up with his antics (in the water situation, he caused the entire basement to literally flood, we lost all of our belongings that were in the basement, and it was not covered by insurance).  As far as the cancer, I am speechless.  I know his mother is a hypochondriac (they bond over talking about ailments). It is really exhausting and puzzling to me, and I assume everyone else.

Living it is extremely trying, to say the least. I wonder if people who grow up with somewhat normal families (mine was/is not perfect, by any means, but somewhat normal) think that everyone grows up this way - having somewhat normal families.  I feel like this is why I think that the antics cause me to go into sort of a shock, so that I become numb and don't react.   It is so obvious he is doing the exact opposite of what the situation calls for, every time, it is shocking and baffling.  He also does things like lock the dog in the bedrooms, knowing that the dog will destroy both the walls and the wall to wall carpet (literally dig it up - it is torn up in two rooms now) and destroy the walls (the wood is removed from the molding now, again, in at least two rooms).  But, DH persists, and keeps changing the room that he puts the dog into.  Point being with this example:  we have a heated garage, with a big, new dog bd and with a more durable situation, such that the wood, etc. would not be damaged - it is as if DH wants to damage the house, then b*tch about having to pay to repair it (DH does not know how to fix things, which is fine, but don't cause deliberate damage, either!)  DH refuses to have someone come in and help with regular household maintenance, so I have to wait until he is out of town or something to have someone come in and make the repairs that he caused to be needed.

Sorry for going on about this.  It feels good to talk about it.  Needing to commiserate with someone who might specifically (I know this situation is specific, my apologies) experience such bizarre behavior.  Is there a special needs spouse forum?  Only half kidding. [/quote]

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