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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Division of responsibility - mental work of running a house"
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[quote=Anonymous]Before this goes downhill I should say I love DH, we have a great relationship, and he is a good person. That being said...the two of us both work full-time, and I have a considerably more demanding job. I am a very forward-looking, get-things-done person, while he is more laid back and reactive (as opposed to proactive). As such, by default I have always been the person who initiates errands, necessary home repairs, pays bills, etc. He's happy to do these things if I ask, but if I don't (and don't do them myself) they will not get done. He grew up with a horrible example - FIL is a POS who prides himself on never having changed a diaper, not cooking, not cleaning, etc. and MIL to this day does everything in his parents' household even though she works full-time. All of this is usually a minor inconvenience which I'm able to ignore, but during the shutdown (he is a fed) it has really come to a head and is very frustrating. DH has been home for a couple weeks and spends his time playing games and surfing the internet, which I don't have a problem with - until I get home and he asks me what's for dinner. Yesterday I was out of the house from 7 AM-8 PM for work and a couple errands and when I got home he asked about dinner. I looked in the fridge, which was basically empty, and suggested that he could have gone to the grocery store sometime during the week. He sheepishly agreed and went. This is just one example - we have a huge list of errands to accomplish today, which could have been easily avoided had he taken *one* hour out of every day not working this week to do something for the house. Does anyone have any suggestions? It really comes down to him totally lacking initiative and I worry that it's unchangeable because it's all he knew growing up and just seems to be his personality.[/quote]
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