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Reply to "Worried about my elderly parents living with my mentally ill adult sister in their house."
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[quote=Anonymous]PP is right. Unless your parents are willing to take out a peace order and get the court to order your sister to stay away from your parents, there is nothing to be done. And, I can't imagine from what you describe, that they will take that route. Your sister doesn't have the means to support herself. No one else in the family will take her in. And, your parents aren't going to be ok with her living under a bridge. As a parent of a seriously mentally ill older teenager, I do feel compelled to comment on a few things you said in your post. [b]Was never able to go to public school, graduate or get her GED. My parents have best interest at heart but are major enablers and out of fear and love cater the world to her. Never held a job. Allowed basically to do as she pleases and they’ll bend over backwards to keep her happy. Her younger sister moved out the second she graduated because her older sister was abusive (physically, mentally, emotionally).[/b] Your parents are not enablers. She was unable to graduate or get a GED and she has not been able to hold a job. What are your parents supposed to do? Kick her out to live in a cardboard box? It's not like there are a plethora of services out there where if your parents decided they don't want her at home now, someone would magically appear and give her a place to live, food, clothes and transportation to her doctors' appointments. Seriously, I don't know what you think they are supposed to do. [b]It’s a fine line between understanding the first four years of her life we’re full of trauma and that she’s suffering from a lot of mental illnesses to allowing it all to be a crutch.[/b] I have watched this dynamic for years with my son and with others I know who have experienced loss and trauma as a result of adoption. Some people are able to move on and others can't. Calling it a crutch is very telling about your attitude towards your sister's mental illness - and it's not very charitable. Your sister did not create her mental illness and she did not create the circumstances that cause her to be incapable of moving on to productive adulthood. [b]It really would be best if she was in a group home so she could work on skills and be surrounded by people who would challenge her, hold her accountable and keep her safe from herself and others. [/b] Then why don't you research and find this sort of option for your sister. Once you start to look and see the dismal state of resources for those that suffer from mental illness, maybe you will be kinder to both your parents and your sister. [/quote]
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