Reply to How to respond to DH saying his weight gain is because of my weight loss efforts?

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[quote=Anonymous]This is about weight, so I want to be clear that I am attracted to DH and don't need him to lose weight if he doesn't want to. Over the course of our 15+ years together, both of us have been really fat, really skinny, and in-between.  Currently, we are both overweight.  I've been working since November to lose weight, and am finally seeing some progress.  Meanwhile, DH has been gaining and his shirt collars don't fit.

Last night DH said that his weight is suffering because, to support my weight loss, he's been "letting" me take more active household chores like walking the dog.  He also suggested the problem is compounded because I'm furloughed and he's working.  I promptly said he could walk the dog every day, and then I let it drop.  I would like to come back to this and find out how I can support him, but I don't want to make him feel bad and I don't want to be one of those "I'm losing weight so you should too" people.

The dog thing is mostly a red herring.  We already eat very healthfully at home and he eats very little during the workday -- honestly I think his gain is (a) alcohol and (b) slowing metabolism, which is not helped by eating almost nothing during the day, and staying up late.  DH used to enjoy weight lifting and I believe he would be happier if he were more active, and slept and ate more, but I am not sure how to introduce that so that it isn't a criticism.

Any ideas?  Say nothing?  I'm buying him a new (bigger) dress shirt tomorrow for a work event we'll attend; he didn't ask for that but he really can't wear the one he's got.[/quote]

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