Reply to Spouse wants to accompany on work travel; I don't want her

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Reply to "Spouse wants to accompany on work travel; I don't want her"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you just simply sit her down and tell her it’s too distracting, but then also try to start planning an actual vacation? Maybe she is desperate for a getaway, and having a plan set in stone for the summertime or whenever will make her feel better. It would show her 1) that you really do want to go away with her, just not on a work trip, and 2) something definite to look forward to. [/quote]

This, times 1,000.

Instead of saying no and telling her how dull your work while traveling is, do something positive and proactive like this PP suggests. Make the issue about "Yeah, we really need a trip together but let's do it so we can BE together!" rather than making it about, "You're a problem and a burden when you've done this before."

Tell her that you'll be working 11-hour days and would rather be with her when you and she can focus on each other and on having fun together. Come into that conversation with your calendar in hand and some specific ideas to discuss. Aren't there places you and she have talked about going on vacation? Get a little information on them and bring that to the table so she knows you are actually thinking about traveling with her and not just thinking about what a pain she was on the last work trip.

My (then my fiancé) tagged along on several work trips but he got out and did a ton of tourism on his own during the days while I was working. And we tacked on at least a full day and night at the end or start of those trips to do our own thing. But if your DW is going to spend her days doing stuff half-heartedly on her own then pouncing on you after work expecting you to go out with her, you're right, that doesn't work; however, you can treat this like a problem or like an opportunity to start planning a real trip together. Your choice how you view it.[/quote]

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