Reply to best housing arrangement in separation- what would you do?

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[quote=Anonymous]Husband wants to separate. I see no resolution in sight based on what he has expressed so I'm assuming this will lead to divorce. We live in a small 2 BR house with 2 small children. Due to appreciation of the house, neither of us can afford to buy out the other at current market value. We will plan for shared custody- not yet sure of breakdown of days, etc. The kids are in different places during the day so logistics of getting them to their respective places and picking up will factor in. Which would you do or have you done over the short (or longer) term?

1. One of us stays in the house for the time being. The other moves into an apartment and kids alternate time between the house and the apartment. (My concern is that the kids will wonder why the parent who stays in the house "made" the other parent move out). We both remain on the deed until divorce is finalized. Of course then another move is needed.

2. We get one apartment and keep the house. We do the whole bird nesting thing or whatever its called that the kids remain in the house and we as parents rotate in and out. This is what my husband wants but I see it as making it tough for a clean break, continuing to live in each other's spaces, though I see the potential value for the kids. Longer term I get that this will be an issue for either one of us starting a relationship so another arrangement is needed down the road anyway. This also appears to be the most expensive option, as our mortgage is higher by around $500 per month than what available apartments in our area cost, though I haven't broken this down for the tax credit of keeping vs. selling.

3. We sell the house and each get $100k in appreciation. We get apartments close to each other and both start fresh. My husband feels it would terrible for the kids to leave their house in general and to not have outside space, but our outside space is pretty small anyway- we can fit a kiddie pool and sandbox. I feel this arrangement puts us on more even footing and allows us freedom to make independent decisions down the road (ie if I want to buy a condo etc) without having to renegotiate terms that would be needed in the above, like sale of the house later or potential arguments about the cleanliness of the shared apartment and house in number 2.

Please share your thoughts. There's always so much ugliness that people like to spew on this site so please don't waste your energy on me if its negative. I won't address it.[/quote]

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