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[quote=Anonymous]I’m so tired of the workaholic side of my boyfriend. We are both mid 40s, been dating 1.5 years. I love him and he’s got a lot of great qualities, but this issue is a problem that keeps getting in the way.

He’s got a job that has 4 busy cycles per year. He also works from home and only occasionally goes to the office for meetings. It’s a mid level management job, which means he has a boss or two above him and a small staff.  I also have a ft job that requires extra hours periodically, so I understand that part. What I don’t get is what seems like addiction to the job, constantly being on the laptop and emails. Others in his department are not working these long hours, nights, nights, weekends, holidays.   We’ve talked about this many times, and he has cut down some hours, but he is still working way more than anyone else.

For example, he put in about 10 hours yesterday, then came over around 7 last night for nye.  Not 5 minutes after arriving, he has his laptop open and is looking at emails. I looked at the screen and saw it was work. He just smiled and laughed and I said that I didn’t think it was funny at all. He put his laptop down and I asked if he needed to work and that if he did, he should just do the hour or whatever he needed, and get it out of the way.  He kept his laptop closed but the evening was awkward and not fun, we ended up falling asleep on the coach before midnight and barely talking rather than having fun.

Am I overreacting? Work dominates everything in his life. He spends so much time on it, then he’s too tired to do much, and often anxious and had trouble sleeping, which I suspect is related. He doesn’t see friends or family much, and when we do see family, they always encourage him to apply for other jobs that would be more normal hours. So, this has been a long term issue. He has also said he’s set himself up as always available, so he’s trying to unravel this. I think he likes the validation from doing a good job and being needed there.

This is getting in the way of personal relationships with people who really care about him. I’m not willing to go further in the relationship like getting engaged or living together while this is happening. I haven’t said this specifically, but will if we start to seriously discuss it. We’ve generally discussed the future a lot of times.

What’s your advice on this’s?

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