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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When my dad fell ill, we decided that mom could not handle taking care of dad and the house on her own. They moved in with us and we were able to put their house on rent.  Over the years they got rid of all their stuff that they did not need.  When my dad passed away, my mom was not alone. She and dad were well looked after, they had their own space, they were able to hire full time nurse when my dad was unable to move and they never had to be in a nursing home etc.  With the extra income from their rented house, they also became very well off.  This allowed my mom to pay for airfare to visit relatives or ask them to visit her.  She was able to attend all major events in the family because there was always someone at home to look after dad.  When my dad passed away last year at home surrounded by family, we felt blessed that a very difficult time in the family was made bearable for all of us because the family was together.

[b]When you buy a house,[/b] think of ways you can accommodate your elderly parents and ILs too and [b]if you can afford it, buy a house where there is one or two  IL suites attached.[/b] It is a blessing because we all will be in a situation where we will need to take care of elderly parents or ILs.  
 [/quote]

Not everyone has that luxury of a mansion nor able to pay for a full time nurse.[/quote]

No, but you can figure out what to do with what you have.  We live in a rambler/ranch (3 bedroom 2 bath).  We had my father move in and we gave him our bedroom because it had a small bathroom attached. We moved into our son’s room.  Our two sons bunked up together and we all shared the hall bathroom.  I was at home at the time and did the vast majority of nursing and care.  We were lucky to have him for 9 months and it really helped my sons learn about their grandfather.  [/quote]

PP of the first comment in this comment box.  We did not have a mansion and were able to accomodate them in our own house by giving them our master bedroom. However, since my parents,  I have started to look at home layouts differently. When we buy homes we always think of what our kids need, but in the end, sooner or later, we start caring for aging ILs, parents and even spouses and siblings.  We need to think of areas in our homes that are on first floor (mobility issues), and have ensuite bathroom. We were able to have a health care aide for bathing/dressing/toileting needs of dad and some companionship - mainly because they were getting rent from their house, had medical insurance, had long term disability, had personal savings and had no expense except meds when they lived with us.  Initially, we needed someone to help mom in the day time for only an hour or two.  Later on it was for several hours and only sometimes it was evenings. In other words, we could focus on dad's care and give mom the support and security, without anyone of us feeling overwhelmed.For my mom, having the running of the house and meals taken care of was a great relief.  Having grandkids and us around prevented her from feeling lonely. Even when my dad was unresponsive, we all  got in the habit of hanging around in his room and chatting and he was never ever left alone.

If they were living independently in their own house, we would have not been able to care for him and the cost would have been prohibitive. Besides, the fact that we were able to do this for years have been the most satisfying feeling in the world. My dad took his last breath in his bed, at home, with all of us around him - just the way we all should be lucky enough to go. [/quote]

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