Reply to How Do You REALLY Get Over Abusive Ex?

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[quote=Anonymous]You take it one day at a time. One foot in front of the other.

Stop responding to his messages (you can ask that all communication be done via email and then block his number from your phone - that way when an email comes in that isn’t about the kids it goes into a different folder and is hidden), stop reading them if you can.

Therapy is tricky and doesn’t always work - if you were in couples counseling it’ll be hard to find a counselor that you trust, couples therapy is NOT indicated in abusive situations because it gives the abuser more tools to abuse you with. I’m sorry your counselors didn’t seek to end the sessions, they should have and that was irresponsible.

Are you fully divorced yet? Or is it still in progress? The court process for me was very difficult because the court appearances were torture - filled with my ex trying to convince the judge that I wasn’t capable of raising our child, that I’m crazy, that I have severe mental illness (all untrue, our child is happy and healthy years later), and it was so hard.

Once the court stuff ended I was able to start healing, but it took a long time. Years. It still comes up, but less often and I’m in a new, healthy, relationship now.

You did the right thing by leaving. Try to go easy on yourself, you’re going to get through this. [/quote]

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