Reply to How Do You REALLY Get Over Abusive Ex?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How Do You REALLY Get Over Abusive Ex?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=daisygirl][quote=Anonymous]We have the kids 50/50, so true no contact is not an option. I really thought once we were divorced and he had a girlfriend, he would stop lashing out at me.  A recent gem:

The fact that you were married to me for almost 20 years and bore my two daughters means nothing to me and is no reason for me to be civil to you. The ONLY thing that will result in my being civil to you is if you are nice to my girlfriend and praise her (I’ve never met the woman).

I know this guy is twisted six ways to Sunday. Yet I keep thinking, what was the point of getting out? If he is going to keep treating me terribly and rubbing his girlfriend in my face, I might as well have stayed married and at least then there would be no girlfriend and her kids to take on fancy vacation while my daughters are made to feel illegitimate somehow.

I don’t know how to get over this. I lost my family, and for what? I got out because I thought if I stayed even another year I would be dead - either he would have killed me (two separate therapists warned me about my safety), I would have committed suicide, or I would have gotten cancer. Right now, being dead looks like a pretty good alternative. I don’t even know what the point of getting out was if this was the result.[/quote]

OP, I'm sorry for so many responses from me.  I just reread your post and I missed where you said you got out because the assessment by me and multiple professionals was leave or be killed.  I was there, too.  I'm still there.  I left two years ago, and completely feel you that I'm looking at this whole situation going "well, not sure either choice (stay/leave) was the better one."  I know he doesn't plan on leaving me alone, and the end result of that is only going to result in my death.  He's just trying to figure out how to do it and make it look like it was my fault.  I'm giving him fewer options to do that over the years.  And while sometimes I'm nice to him, I'm not an idiot or blind anymore.  He's trying to find a way for me to put my defenses down long enough to pull it off.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics