Reply to I’m dying slow painful death of undermining from narcissist mother

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[quote=Anonymous]Been there. She won’t change. You either let it go or limit their interactions more.

It’s not about snacks. It’s about the million other things she did before the snacks, and that’s the final straw. I get it. One time when we visited, my parents begged to keep the kids while I went out to lunch with a friend. I said ok but they need their nap. (I was going to have to cut the lunch short for nap time.) She said ok, of course. I came back a few hours later to 2 crying children and my mother acting like she’d never seen children so poorly behaved. I asked about the nap and she said she’s the grandma and she doesn’t have to give naps if she wants to play with her grandchildren. That one instance wasn’t a huge deal, but it happened every time she made a decision. It really felt like every time my mother had to make a choice, she’d choose whatever was either the most indulgent for the children (regardless of their wellbeing) or the choice that would be opposite my parenting philosophy. Bonus if she could achieve both. [/quote]

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