Reply to When you play the "did I cause it?" game--does it ever stop

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I rarely play this game with myself.  Most of the time I'm too busy but in moments of downtime like now at the holidays thoughts creep into my head even though my kid is no longer small.  Was it the drinking I did before I knew I was pregnant?  The lack of prenatal vitamins at the beginning (since I wasn't actively trying) ? Was it the exposure to my cat after she underwent radiation treatment ?  My age? How could I have been so generally cavalier? Or maybe none of these and total hazard.  My poor kid.  I was so much better the second time around and I knew what it meant to have a kid and I had already transformed into a mother.[/quote]

Nope not the alcohol or lack of prenatal -I'm in the same boat. Not trying, infinitesimal chance of pregnancy based on one time of unprotected sex with DH (I was in my mid thirties). Doc said that before six weeks, it would be most likely that you would miscarry than cause subtle harm to baby. After that, I assume the baby is more viable and things like heavy drinking, drugs, poor nutrition could affect the outcome. I could never tell if she was trying to make feel better, but she was stern that there is time for neurological development and it's not before six weeks.

I think you can let go of the cat thing- the way that I let go of wondering about the BPA baby bottles and whether I should have been using a cellphone.

If it helps OP- I wasn't a Girl Scout in the weeks leading up to my big surprise. My DS has ADHD and some delays. My family also has conditions that mirror my DS. My DS also has an IQ approaching 150. It's my belief that IQ is equally or more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol, nutrition, etc. if I had harmed my baby with my behavior, he wouldn't be this intelligent.

People will tell you to put it behind you- and you should. But I'm also telling you that your behavior in early pregnancy (and certainly not your cat) is extremely unlikely to have impacted your child's outcomes. [/quote]

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