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[quote=Anonymous]Friends tell me that they do not host their DH's family.  Sometimes the friends will attend their own families' holidays, for example. I don't want separate holidays, but if you and your ILs alternate hosting, are you okay with hosting your ILs twice per year?  Details: There are about 20 of them, we do not usually see each other otherwise, are not particularly close, but get along well enough.  I think my friends' point is that there are 20 of them who could potentially host (though only a few actually do host), and it is not your family, so why do all the work (when you are not close to them, anyway)?  Do you go along with this way of thinking?

Additional detail that threw me off a bit: We are "the more the merrier" type family, when it comes to our close friends that we know and love. When we host the ILs at our house, there are often extra people brought along (that part is fine - next part is not:) that like to "tour" (???) our modest house. I don't know them and will never see them again - and our house is on the small side, nothing fancy, and nothing to "tour".  It happens to be a small, original house in a knock down neighborhood (ie: our house is the furthest thing from HGTV, which works for us, but not everyone).  I think that, because there are new houses popping up around us, people expect fancy this or fancy that, given them wanting a "tour"? My family and friends are not the "tour" other people's houses type of people, so I am not sure that I understand the concept - and I definitely do not understand poking around someone's house/bedrooms/closets/whatever that you just met and will never see again.  To me, the house is personal space, and guests stay "where the party is taking place".  I feel like it is rude and awkward.  For those of you who feel that way, how do you handle it (assuming it happens)?  Should I send them to the neighbor's beautiful house for a "tour"?  Kidding, not kidding. Advice?

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