Reply to Friend gives me cold shoulder when with friends: WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If she is a close friend, just ask her!

I’ve known people like this.  When people do this, it’s because other people don’t like you in the larger group, and the other people talk about you behind your back.

It could be many things.  Just ask.[/quote]

I agree with this--if you and she actually are friends you should not be afraid to ask her, OP. Why haven't you done so? What's stopping you?

"I notice that when we're one on one we talk like crazy but when we're out in a group I feel you and I don't interact at all. Do you see that too? Is there something different in the group dynamic that we don't talk then?" And discuss it like adults.

I'd wager she has no idea that you see this and she may even think she and you are enjoying the group events together. Some people can enjoy things in parallel with people-- next to you but not necessarily talking through the event with you. She may talk to so many folks at group events that she just assumes she's including you. And OP, ending a friendship over this -- especially if you have never brought it up with her -- is really drastic and could be resolved without just disappearing on her.

I also wonder if she feels you and she are good enough friends that you two do not NEED to be conversing one on one at group events. She knows you and she will be seeing each other separately from the group so maybe she feels "OP doesn't need me hovering over her--she and I can catch up with these mutual acquaintances and compare notes later." You said you two see  each other pretty frequently. She may feel so confident in your friendship that she believes you and she don't need to be talking as much at group outings. Why aren't you confident in this friendship?

I hope you can talk to her and consider those positive possibilities, OP. I think you and some PPs are jumping to assuming the worst of her, which, if you and she are friends, is a really negative way to proceed. Please talk to her before you dump her.

It sounds as if things are fine one on one so just stop doing group events.  Do you just not really want these group events, but attend because she asked you to, and then when you're there you prefer to interact with her but not with others as much? Then stop going and tell her that you're not as up for group stuff as time goes by but you'd love to see her separately. [/quote]

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