Reply to Has verbal abuse from a parent damaged you long term?

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t like to think of myself as damaged. I’m more of a work in progress, but I’m whole and I’m a good person.

The thing that I find most difficult, along with most of what everyone else has said, is that I do t have a good sense of what is normal. For instance, when i was a kid, if I were late, my mom might refuse to take me anywhere besides school for a week. I know that’s wrong, and I find I’m inclined to do the opposite and coddle or micromanage my kids so they’re not late. I get that  what I’m doing isn’t best either. It’s really hard to find that happy medium. Or my parents were always fighting, yelling, threatening to leave each other. I’m extremely  conflict avoidant because of that. I tend to bottle things up and then run away from problems when they get out of control rather than face them when they’re manageable.

Therapy has helped. I’m much better about handling my issues now that I realize what I was doing before wasn’t healthy. Sometimes I get stuck and I don’t know what a normal, healthy person would do or how they’d react, so I run things past DH or my therapist and try to figure it out. [/quote]

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