Reply to MIL doesn't want to see my parents, but my parents want to see MIL

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "MIL doesn't want to see my parents, but my parents want to see MIL"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Mom, this happens every time, and I'm frankly not going to be doing this with you anymore. Angela is coming into town. For whatever reason--and I really don't know why--she wants focused time with us and prefers not to see you during her visits. It's not my decision, so I can't explain it; however, she is my guest who does not get to see us very often, so I will be acommodating her preference. I'm not going to discuss this with you further."

[Mom brings it up again.]

"I said I wouldn't discuss this further, and I meant it."

[Mom pushes.]

"Mom, it seems like this isn't a productive conversation, so I'm going to need to hang up now, unless we can change the subject."[/quote]

New poster. This script focuses on being firm with OP's mom, but the one who seems to need the talking to is MIL. She sounds so jealous of OP's parents' being local. MIL's being rude; it sounds as if OP's parents want to be friendly and MIL is all about protecting "her time" from them.

The DH needs to tell his mom that there will be one all-grandparent dinner during her stay because the kids need to see all the grandparents together as part of the family. He also can tell his mom frankly how OP's parents want to see her and be cordial and catch up like friends, but her insistence that they're encroaching on her grandkids time is impolite at best and petty and self-centered at worst. [/quote]

OP here. I will admit that this aspect of it bothers me. DH and I planned a trip with the kids, and MIL pretty much insisted that she be allowed to come with us. Not only did she insist on coming with us, but she also insisted that my parents NOT be allowed to come. She said that my parents get to see the kids more often, so this trip should be a privilege just reserved for her. DH and I had no plans for any grandparents to come, so we told her no. She kept pushing and we kept telling her no. She didn’t believe that my parents weren’t invited and we had to tell her multiple times that my parents weren’t coming.

It’s definitely a jealousy issue. MIL’s other grandchildren are local and she pretty much raised them, so that’s her only frame of reference of being a grandparent. We’ve tried explaining to her that we really don’t see my parents as often as she thinks, but she just thinks we’re placating her when it’s the truth.

So I think both sides are kind of wrong here and we’re caught in the middle. I guess I could tell my mom to bring it up directly with MIL, but I highly doubt she will. -OP[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics