Reply to MIL doesn't want to see my parents, but my parents want to see MIL

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[quote=Anonymous]MIL comes to visit a few times per year. My parents are local. MIL and my parents have a pretty good relationship overall. My mom and MIL talk on the phone every few weeks, my mom sends her photos of our kids because MIL is bad at ordering online, etc.

But there's a bad/weird dynamic in that when MIL comes to visit, she doesn't want to see my parents for a few hours for dinner or something. My mom asked me what our plans are for next week, and I said that MIL is coming next week and my mom had spoken with MIL last week and MIL hadn't mentioned it at all which my mom thinks is strange.  I'm not going to lie to my mom to protect MIL.

Now, MIL is completely entitled to her choice of not wanting to see them. But the problem is that it puts me and DH in the middle. My parents find out she's coming and ask what our plans are and whether we can all get together. I put them off as long as I can, knowing MIL doesn't want to spend time with them. My parents get offended that she's never interested in seeing them and ask me why. DH and I are stuck between managing my parents' feelings and MIL's feelings. I want to just come out with it and tell my parents that MIL is nice to them as a courtesy, but isn't really interested in spending any time with them. She doesn't like to share any time with my kids, and she already feels threatened by the fact that my parents are local and spend more time with my kids than MIL does. But I also feel like MIL can be polite and suck it up for a few hours since she talks a lot about etiquette and manners, but only when it behooves her opinions and feelings. Hell, I don't really want MIL to come stay with us next week but it's the nice thing to do so I suck it up.

MIL is coming next week. This dance has started already. How do I handle this? [/quote]

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