Reply to At what point can you decide Montessori isn't working for your child?

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[quote=Anonymous]Hello, all. My son and daughter--twins who just turned three in November--have been enrolled in what is by all accounts a very good Montessori school in Arlington, Virginia, for nearly a year. But we live in Washington DC.

Our daughter has been doing splendidly and recently advanced to the next class. Our son, however, shows little sign of being ready to matriculate. He is very inconsistent in listening to his teacher--doing things like putting his coat away or sitting down when asked and so forth--and the school has expressed concerns about his development. He doesn't make as much eye contact with them as they'd like, for example. That said, he is not aggressive or anything like that.

We had him tested for developmental delays in May--a pair of DC social workers came to our house and basically quizzed my son--and he was assessed as not qualifying for any special educational assistance--a result I interpret as, "Your child appears to be hitting his milestones so far." His pediatrician also has no concerns. But the school's concerns remain and they want us to have him assessed again and hopefully have him observed within the classroom environment. So we are reaching back out to the appropriate authorities for that. But my sense is that the writing is on the wall with this school--they want to help and are giving us a reprieve, but are preparing us for the fact that they might eventually have to ask him to leave.

My son't temperament is quite different than his sister's, and he is frankly not as far along socially as she is. You can more or less hold a conversation with my daughter, but not so much with my son yet. He will answer questions and sometimes makes his needs known, but doesn't frequently volunteer information about his inner being as his sister does.

That said, he loves letters and numbers and learning in general. My wife has done a terrific job preparing him for academic learning--he's been able to count to 100 for a while now. I would describe him as bright and engaged with the world. But on his own terms.

I'm not trying to make excuses for my son or assign blame for his problems, but at what point can one determine that Montessori simply isn't the right fit for one's child? My wife thinks that the problems he's having at this school would follow him anywhere he goes, and she may well be right, but I wonder if a different structure--say, a more traditional academic structure--might get very different results, as he'd be more engaged with it. My experience with my son has been that with him, it's rarely a matter of him not being able to do something--he just doesn't want to do it.

This came out pretty long, so I appreciate if you've read this far. Any advice anyone can give would be appreciated.

--Jeff Morris[/quote]

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