Reply to Do immediate siblings ever exchange gifts between “just them”

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is your SIL unmarried? She may feel excluded and wanting to hang onto being a member of a nuclear family. And if she’s used to being the bossy sister, she’s having a hard time recalibrating, now that her brother answers to a higher authority.

It’s not a hill to die on, if your DH decided to go along. You could get something for your ILs and for the cousins from you and the kids. [/quote]

She’s married and has kids. [/quote]

So what does she do about her husband and kids? Does she expect a gift from you or give one to you? Does she also get a gift to her parents from her husband and kids?

We do a $100 gift exchange with all siblings, spouses and the grandparents. Each person buys 1 gift instead of 8, which is awesome. Kids get gifts under $50, closer to $20. One gift per couple, including grandparents.
So my kids max out at 4 gifts which feels abundant to them but not overwhelming to me. [/quote]

She exchanges gifts with her husband and kids separately. Then as a family, they all get together (spouses and kids included) and exchange gifts as an extended family.

So what she’s suggesting is to continually leave out her siblings spouses and children from the exchange and just exchange gifts between and for siblings and parents.

I really don’t care about receiving gifts personally - it’s not about the gifts for me, what my concern is that she expects her family to exchange gifts in front of everyone who will also be left out. “Here mom and Dad, us and the siblings got this gift for you!” And the spouses and kids are supposed to just sit there and not be included.

My DH thinks it’s weird hence why he tells her every year it’s not ok. I guess I think it’s weird to exchange gifts in front of people who you have deliberately made an effort to leave out. [/quote]

I guess i just don't care enough. My DH family does this, the 3 of them went in on a new TV for the inlaws. We still give a small gift from us and the kids. I really don't care if my name is on a tv or not. IL know our money is joint so any money DH gave for the TV, I, by extension also gave.

Who really cares?[/quote]

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