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Reply to "My mother’s hurtful words. How to deal with her anger?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is you mom is struggling and lashing out. Is it fair? No. But it’s not personal. Everything she is saying is actually about insecurities/anxieties she feels about herself. I say this as a person who lashed out to my mom and lashes out to my DH, but am aware of my patterns and trying to fix. It’s hard because I feel like I literally can’t deal with the feeling of failure. Now, it’s isnt fair to my DH or to you that this happens. And so it’s best to not continue to the conversation. Validate her actual feelings, but don’t let yourself get beat up. Your mom does love you and doesn’t want to hurt you. She’s struggling and doesn’t have the skills to stop her. Hope that helps. [/quote] The problem is that OP’s dad situation affects them both. OP, like her mom, deserves empathy, but mom is piling her stress onto a likewise-suffering OP.[/quote]
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