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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any hints?

How do you tell the other-faith parents to just back off and let the holiday pass without us?

We are an interfaith couple. The kids are my faith, and dad is not.  We are exhausted....

Anyone have success in saying to [b]a family member[/b], "please take a pass on the one"?

I end up hosting just too many things on other people's schedules. We are tired and looking to simplify.

[/quote]

Figure out your message. If it is "we will happily celebrate with you, but we don't celebrate x in our home," then say that. That's a reasonable thing to say.

So is, "we can come to grandma's menorah-lighting on Wednesday, but we won't be able to make cousin Ari's latke party Thursday or cousin Helen's lighting party on Saturday."

I can't tell, though, if that is what you mean, or you mean that you don't want to celebrate the holiday at all because it is not your holiday and it's too much scheduling/effort/disruption/money/time/whatever. Well, in that case, I say that this is your husband's call. If he wants to celebrate his holiday with his family and have his family join him, then that's what comes along with being an interfaith couple. If you refuse most invitations, or agree to only show up but never participate in anything you feel is part of that holiday, you are going to drive a wedge between your children and their relatives.

What you're describing is not an interfaith family. It is a man who married out of his faith and into another. My guess is that he doesn't see it that way. Also, no, there is no way to turn down [b]all[/b] invitations from family associated with a holiday and not end up with hurt feelings, confusion, or anger.[/quote]

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