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[quote=Anonymous]I just did it for my second (first was not DE), 14 weeks along now after first transfer of PGS tested blast.  I used an agency and didn't share the eggs (we had MF and were advised not to), plus the donor had some significant travel, so it was very expensive.  There are ways to make it less expensive, e.g., shared cycle or frozen eggs.

I never had an issue with the concept generally.  I would also have adopted, but this was more appealing to us for various reasons.  The realities of all the details did take some time to get used to.  E.g., how to pick a donor.  Donor sibling registry has some good info (but also info from people opposed to DE, so be prepared if you go there) and there are counselors that specialize in helping people explore whether DE is appropriate for them.  I've been open with friends and family and will be open with the child (highly recommended by counselors).  I do feel a tinge of failure, so it took a bit of pride swallowing, but I don't think it's something that needs to be or should be kept secret (it's family info, so somewhat private, but it's not bad or negative).  I will not be open at work - couldn't really explain why, other than while I like the people I work with, I also like a division between work and my personal life.

After researching for a while, we decided to use a proven, known donor and to go with an agency so we would get as much medical info as possible for medical history.  Based on a call with the donor and her profile, we also believe that she wasn't just in it for the $ and had a good understanding of what she was doing.  We do know that there is at least one other DE child from this donor and will provide that info to our child (along with all the info about the donor we have).

No regrets (other than sometimes the time and $ spent on OE cycles).

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