Reply to 16YO step-DD coming to live with us full time

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Reply to "16YO step-DD coming to live with us full time - rules and expectations?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Probably a good idea to figure out all/most of the rules now and present them to her so she can decide if she still wants to move in with you guys.  Her reasons for wanting to move might be relevant (i.e. does she want to move because you guys are lenient on the weekends and she thinks it will be less strict than mom's house).  It's a bit of an odd fact pattern that she wants to dramatically alter the custody arrangement this late in the game.

You might also want to manage expectations regarding schedules and how often you guys will be available to take her different places.  Obviously with two other really young children your time will be at a premium although maybe she drives?[/quote]

Thanks - we've definitely chatted about things being different and pushed back a bit on her and that's also why I'm posting now versus after she's already moved in. I don't want to surprise her with a list when she walks in the door with her bags next summer, nor do I want to be wishy-washy. She's wanted to move in with us for years but this is the first time her mom has "agreed" - there's 7 of them living in a small house where she takes on a lot of responsibility taking care of her younger siblings and where they live is very rural so not much to do and takes a long time to get anywhere. She's also a teenage girl so she and her mom butt heads a lot. We plan on buying her a car regardless of where she lives but here there's just more for her to do, she'll get her full license next summer at 16.5. But yes, she'll need to know what's expected of her and make the final decision herself. [/quote]

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