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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm dealing with a very hostile divorce. It's taken more than a year with no end in sight. I think I'm coping as best I can. I'm too overwhelmed to try to date. I'm not mentally there in part because want to spend all the time and energy I have with my DC.

The embarrassing part of this is that there is a long-ago infatuation I never was able to get to know due to marriage primarily. I think the basis of this is far more fantasy than reality. It's still upsetting. I found out via social media that the crush is divorcing and his/her spouse is really shocked and angry.

I'm pretty upset about it. Any tips to get over something like this? I really want to stop idealizing this person. I haven't talked to anyone about it - it really does sound stupid. My therapist just thought it's fine to have a fantasy figure given all I'm dealing with. I doubt I revealed adequately how upsetting this all is.

I have focused on my child, my own life and personal development, self-care, etc. It's still very upsetting I have had such difficulty getting over this infatuation. [/quote]

Careful with this one.  My advice, having been divorced already...focus on yourself.  Get your own shop (mental and physical) in order.  Eat right, exercise, etc.  You're useless if you are not strong.  Once you feel like you're in a better spot, I have no issues reaching out to the guy and telling him "hey, I see you're going through something similar as I - let me know if you want to hang out to talk."  I think it's a perfect foray into something else.  What that something else is the tricky part.  You have an emotional void and you'll be looking to fill it and your infatuation with the guy makes me think you're going to fall for him.  Manage your expectations...if it's strictly physical, go for it, screw him, etc.  If you think it can develop into a soulmate kind of thing (in your eyes), tread carefully b/c he's going through something similar.[/quote]

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