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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the thin spouse with a morbidly obese husband. I love him dearly and face many of the same issues that OP describes.

Part of what he has made me understand is that so much of this is actually out of his control. I think we thin people expect that healthy food and exercise, and a good attitude, will cure everything. And we blame fat people for not wanting to be thin enough.

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/11/01/health/americans-obesity-willpower-genetics-study.html?smid=tw-nytimes&smtyp=cur

I still want my husband to eat better and exercise more. I've also gotten more accustomed to understanding that his body wants to be fat, and that he struggles with what his body wants 24 hours a day, seven days a week. He does not get a vacation from his hunger. Sometimes he fights it better than he does at other times.

It hurts him. It hurts him physically, it takes a huge emotional toll. He hates his body. I try to tell him that I love him and find him sexy, but he is in pain all the time, and his clothes don't fit, and he doesn't fit into airline seats, and he's broken chairs, and - you know. He has diabetes and high blood pressure. He's on a million different meds.

I try to be supportive how I can. I encourage him to move around. We cook healthy meals. But it's hard for me to see him suffer like this - and it's hard for me to know that his body is always, always working against him - and it's even harder for him. I just love him so much, you know?[/quote]

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