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[quote=Anonymous]For one thing, I think kids are tired of traditional gender roles being thrust on them. I’m saying this as a parent of a trans teen. I also have a daughter who is not trans but is not happy being a girl. She says she doesn’t feel like other, but she hates getting attention just for being a girl. It makes her uncomfortable. We’re working with a therapist to get to the bottom of it, but I think she wishes gender (as defined by society) weren’t a thing.

My trans son has never felt comfortable as a girl. From early childhood he always chose boy roles, clothes, hairstyles, etc. That’s only one part of being trans. Gender identity has 3 parts: body (what you’re born with), identity (how you feel/identify), and presentation (what you show the world). Those don’t all have to match. Just because they presented as female doesn’t mean they felt female. They may have felt male and been afraid to express it. In fact, they may have felt male and overcompensated by being ultra feminine hoping those feelings would go away. My trans DS went through that phase too. Or it could be that they felt different but didn’t know what they were feeling, and now they have the words to express themselves.

It’s extremely complicated. When someone comes out, it’s extremely rare that it’s a new development in their way of thinking. There’s usually a long period where they try to work through their feelings alone, then share with a few friends or family, probably a therapist or medical team, then keep broadening the circle as they transition. To some people, it probably looked like DS woke up one day, cut his hair, changed his name, and demanded everyone use him/he. In reality, if it was such a sudden change, it means we’re not that close to you or we didn’t trust that you’d be supportive during the transition. [/quote]

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