Reply to Narrowing circle of friends: maybe it's me?

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[quote=Anonymous]Well OP only you can know if you are pushing them away or not.

In the first friend case, it might be ok for that friend to distance because her boundaries are not in alignment with yours.

In the second friend case, you may need to reach out more; not wait for your friends to contact you but be proactive.

I'm in my 50s and the friend I thought was my closest friend is so busy these days, in effect I've been dumped, which really hurt and took a while for me to get over--especially since she dragged it out.

But I finally got over it, and now I've done a switchup of my friends.  In my 40s, my girlfriends were mostly moms of kids in my kids' class.  But now I'm being proactive with all sorts of people.  I've got a 24 y.o. friend that I met years ago when she was in high school and she babysat my kids once.  My DD has an art teacher that I adore and now she comes over to watch movies.  I volunteer for a couple hours every two weeks, and my "boss" is that stereotypical fabulous gay guy who has become a really fun friend.  The volunteer date was cancelled this week but he texted me to go grab some coffee with him during our usual time.

I'm also pretty shy, but I'm good one-on-one, so I just make it happen.  Are any of these friends a deep friend who really gets me?  Not really but I'm still in the development stage of these relationships, and they are forming a bridge until I find that deep female friendship again.[/quote]

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