Reply to Is my partner still in love with me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is the hardest part of a marriage.  For sure.  When there are young children,  they constantly need something .... Constant physical tough,  especially if nursing,  cuddling,  comforting,  etc.  Then when thevkis goes to bed YOU want something from her,  too.  She lovably wants to crawl right out of her skin.  I know,  I've been there.

But...  I don't think it's fair to tell you to suck it up.  You need to find a way to tell her so she hears you loud and clear.  Lack of sex and emotional intimacy makes you feel actively unloved.  It took this kind of jolt for me to realize that for my husband,  sex = love.  Tell her that you are seriously lacking in this area to the point that you are questioning your ability to stay in the relationship. Let her know you want to work on it,  and suggest some possible solutions.

Then listen....  Really listen to her response.  
[/quote]

This.

And I’d say don’t overthink her responses to you. You are assuming that her responses mean she doesn’t love you, but the fact is she likely does...she’s just not working hard at speaking your love language so you know it.

I’m kinda in this spot with DH. We’ve been together for 17 years, have two kids...I know we take each other for granted but also there’s just an lack of the energy resource to put in the work to spark the relationship. I know I feel I loved at times, but I also know I’m not working super hard to make DH feel loved. We’ve talked about it here and there and make some small, but quickly fall into old patterns. Which kinda sucks, but we are on the same page on so many other things and the hard work we are putting into jobs and raising kids will make life easier later on and we’ll have more energy to put into the relationship. [/quote]

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