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[quote=Anonymous]My brother-in-law and sister-in-law have been trying unsuccessfully for six years to have a baby, with at least three IVF rounds that I know of. SIL is in her late 30's and they're now in the beginning paperwork stages of signing up with an adoption agency, which was definitely not their preferred option. I love them very much and I've been contemplating telling them I'm willing to be a surrogate (gestational carrier). DH and I have two children already - I'm 30, no miscarriages, and easy deliveries. I don't enjoy being pregnant but I would gladly go through 9 months of discomfort for them to be able to have a little baby that is biologically theirs, if that's what they want. I feel like it's likely they would say no, though, and I don't want to harm our relationship by making them uncomfortable with me (they're very private people) or hurting/offending them (don't want them to feel like I'm flaunting fertility). They live 30 minutes away and we see them frequently. Obviously, no one can predict how they would react, but if this were you, how would you feel? Would you want a family member to make this offer or would you rather be the one to reach out and ask?

As an aside, I'm not even sure if they have any embryos left. I'm not very familiar with the process; my instinct is that doing another egg retrieval and everything involved with surrogacy would be more expensive than pursuing adoption. There would be no surrogacy fee to me and I have excellent insurance, but I'm not sure how much legal fees would be (DH is a contract lawyer but I assume an attorney specializing in this kind of law should be used). Any guesses in this completely hypothetical situation as to whether adoption or surrogacy would be more expensive?

Thanks for any thoughts![/quote]

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