Reply to Should I tell my kids the divorce is due to abuse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope, don’t do it. What’s best for the kids is always the priority, and if they have a good relationship with him then that is much better for them than if you poisoned it with details of your marriage, even if they are true. It’s better for them to have a good relationship with their dad.[b] If he’s abusive to them, or if they witnessed him being abusive to you regularly, then that’s a different story.[/b]

When they’re older, the conversations may evolve and you can be more open.[/quote]

This is my situation. Kids are 11 & 8. I've told them that how dad treated them is not okay. Repeatedly and specifically.That I wish I could've protected them from the things that happened. 11 has asked more questions about what ex did to me (lots of police involvement) and I've said dad did some things that are against the law and now just like everyone else who breaks the law he has some consequences. She asked for more details and I said maybe when she's older (25) if she still wants to know we can talk then.

I used the analogy of rocks in a backpack (the details) and sometimes the rocks are to heavy to carry for kids (too burdensome or even traumatizing).[/quote]

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