Reply to How to make sure DH and I are not a burden on our children someday when we are elderly?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the key is to make plans, be realistic, and make your plans and wishes known to your adult children, OP. Think about what you'd like your retirement to be like, but also think about the scenarios that aren't as pleasant - if you need more care for whatever reason, what kind of place would you like to receive that care? What are your end of life wishes? Who do you want to make decisions on your behalf if you can't make them yourself?

I'm 40 and I have one parent who basically disowned me 9 years ago and now I think is going to need some sort of help from me whether they want it or not. I won't get into details but there is some addiction and likely mental illness at play, and they have cut every single person out of their life...but now their health is failing and I'm getting calls from hospitals and care facilities where they've been a patient so I'm going to have to be involved in some way.

My other parent simply refuses to talk about the hard questions. I want to honor their wishes, but I don't know what they are. Please make it easy for your children to help you in the ways you'd like to be helped by TELLING THEM and being open to discussions about  hard things. [/quote]

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