Reply to Husband needs to be better father - how to articulate, or maybe I shouldn't?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think that if he's responsible/reliable/intelligent, you can get where you want to be.  Right now you say he doesn't do anything with the kids one on one unless you plan it.  So plan a "dad + kids" outing each week.  As he spends more time with them and gets to know them (and as they grow and become more involved in likes/hobbies), he can learn their likes and dislikes and have his own ideas for places to go/things to do with them.  When it comes to not helping out when you're on parenting duty and he's hanging out on his phone, divide and conquer.  "I've got to help Larlo with this math, Larla needs help with her spelling."  Or better yet: "Larla ask your dad to help you with your spelling," you don't have to be the taskmaster here.

As far as coming up with holiday traditions, I think it's nice that you have such fond memories of that with your dad but I don't think it's poor parenting or emotionally distant to not think to invent traditions.  Plus traditions come about organically -- one year you'll do something that you all love and then you'll repeat it.[/quote]

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