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[quote=Anonymous]Parent of a HS senior and 10 year old.

Realize that your DD's won't tell you everything as they get older. The problem is for them to tell you the big stuff- you can't react.  Take a common teen problem- your child goes to a party with drugs/alcohol.  You can take two approaches 1.)  tell your kid how to navigate situations like this/ but not be judgmental 2.) forbid them from ever going to parties at that person's house again.

I've opted for approach number 2.  My DD knows if she ever attended a party where they did drugs/alcohol and I found out- she'd never be allowed back to that house.

Will she ever attend a party where someone is doing drugs/alcohol in HS?  Probably.  Will she tell me? No.

In this situation, you have two bad choices as a parent.  You can either have your child tell you everything and not react (which implies a certain level of acceptance) or tell them no and risk them going behind your back.

My philosophy is option #2- which I realized has its own risks. However, I feel like option #1 is a slippery slope.

Option #2 works only if you have an overall good relationship with your child (isn't rebellious), know your children's friends etc.  My DD would be the kid who would make up an excuse to leave early etc.

So TLDR-  Have a great relationship with your child, stand firm on the BIG stuff but realize they won't tell you everything.

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