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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First off, do not freak out if over react when they tell you things that bother you. Stay cool. As they age don't force advice on thrm. Listen more than you talk. Lead by example. Do things with them and their friends. Get to know their friends. Take them on one on one dinners. Ask them to cook with you. Go bike riding or golfing. Things like that allow you to chat in a non stressful situation. You still need to discipline, nit be s best friend, but be there to talk when they want. Sneak peak their texting. Subject them to random phone checks of their activity. Let go of some control and let them learn from their mistakes. Accept you won't know everything.[/quote]

I agree with most of this. I have a junior ds  and 8th grade dd. I’m close to both.

Re: discipline. I don’t think that means punishing. For us it’s about natural consequences and teaching better decision making skills. My parents were all about punishing and being strict. My sister and I were awesome at hiding things from them. We prefer to talk through bad choices the kids make and have them fix the situation and learn from it. Usually they do better after that. No need to punish just to exert authority. 
 [/quote]

I agree with both of these PPs.

I’m lucky that my daughter makes good decisions and chooses good friends. That’s just her personality, and it removes a lot of the work for me. If she makes a mistake, I emphasize that we learn more about life with slip ups and failures. The safety net of acceptance and teamwork is always there. [/quote]

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