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[quote=Anonymous]DD is 15.  I make sure we have light moments.  I sometimes treat her upsets with humor, like the time she was upset because she wanted to back out of going to a friend's birthday sleepover and I was forcing her to go since she'd already committed, so on the train ride over there, I made her listen to this song:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Agfhgn1_yKE

I think about what reaction she wants from me when she tells me thing. So yes, sometimes I stifle myself.. I developed what we call The Circle of Trust, and when she steps into it, nothing she tells me in that moment will get her in trouble. Sometimes I am demanding answers to hard questions, but sometimes she wants to tell me something and doesn't want me to focus on the fact that her friend cursed or she ate crap food or something, but on the main point of her story.

I really, REALLY hear her. She went through a phase of thinking garlic bread was The Shit. It was weird, but one morning I made her eggs and garlic bread and fruit for breakfast in bed. It made her SO happy.

Listen more than you talk. Ask open-ended questions. I find a great way to find out about DD is to ask her about her friends.  "What's up with Noah?" "Are Kyle and Annie still dating?" [/quote]

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