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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "Did anyone use a surrogate and can answer a few question?"
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[quote=Anonymous]We used a gestational carrier (GC). It's a really good idea to ensure that the intended parents (IPs) are part of the birth plan and the hospital is fully aware ahead of time. The hospital that our GC chose has a formal tour for expectant mothers, that ends with working out a formal birth plan. Our GC had given birth there before, and the hospital had also handled GC situations in the past. We flew into town to take the tour with her, and the hospital's advocate accompanied us to talk through all the processes we would go through, made the medical decision-making lines clear, discussed the birth certificate, and so forth. We also ensured that we did the paperwork for the baby's health insurance, so the claims would be properly filed. We also had to choose a pediatrician to see the baby post-birth; our GC liked her pediatrician, so we just used hers. We arrived in our GC's city two weeks before the due date. Our GC called us the moment she went into labor, so we arrived at the hospital just after she did. We were issued hospital bracelets. We sat with her and her husband through the whole labor (and ran minor errands like getting her non-hospital meals). We did skin-to-skin and such while she was getting stitched up (vaginal delivery), and then the baby had to go get their medical tests and whatnot. The baby got a hospital bracelet that was coded to our GC as well as to us. (Basically the way they handled this was to give us what would normally have been her husband's bracelet.) The hospital had warned us in advance that we would only be able to get a hospital room ourselves if there was a spare room available, since the room priority clearly needed to be with postpartum mothers. We had to wait with the baby for a bit (they let us use a waiting room they have for NICU parents) before we could get a room next door to our GC's. She pumped colostrum for us, which we bottle-fed to the baby, but otherwise we used hospital-supplied formula. Our baby went between our room and the nursery (so we could get a bit of sleep), until we could be discharged (our GC needed to stay longer). Our GC had various family-and-friends visitors, and we came by her room and brought the baby with us when she had visitors. Lots of photos were taken. We did photos with her and her family before we went home, as well. We had a pre-birth order done, so our names went onto the birth certificate. Our only minor complication was my insurance. Baby went immediately on my insurance at birth, which meant that my health insurance company flipped out at getting a pediatrician's bill from the hospital, without an accompanying maternity claim from me. They demanded to know if there'd been an accident (i.e. someone they could sue for the claim), etc. and it took some doing to explain the situation to them. Our GC came to visit while on vacation, when our kid was a couple of weeks old, and took yet more photos (our GC and her husband are photographers), which was awesome. We also invited our GC and her family to our child's one-year birthday party (we paid for their trip). Our GC made a great photo book for our child which explains their conception story, with photos of us and them through the IVF process, blastocyst and ultrasound pics, pregnancy pics (with our GC in cosplay outfits!), and post-birth pictures. We still keep in touch on Facebook, and we intend to visit when we're in her city. I've known other people who never spoke to or saw their GC again after the birth itself. So YMMV. [/quote]
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