Reply to Minor rant: in Europe with completely useless in laws and a toddler

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Re: Ice: DH needs to nip that complaining by showing mom an article I can't link, but he can get by searching 
"Smithsonian magazine why don't other countries use ice cubes"

He can then tell his mom, with a big smile plastered on his face, it's part of the exciting, different being-abroad experience; she isn't going to get those cubes (though city restaurants often provide them, but only if asked); and she's free to drink nothing but room temp bottled water the rest of the trip. Next time she starts to mention ice, he can say every time: "Your American inflexibility is showing, and it's not a good look," then he needs to change the topic instantly.

As far as helping out--was that expectation ever clearly articulated to them before the trip? Now that you're on the trip, are you or DH ever asking outright for specific help in the moment, or are you hoping they'll see the need and step up in the moment? I agree with you that I'd expect adults to step in--but they may be the kind of people who wait to be asked because they think it's imposing or "getting in the way" if they take initiative to help. My mom and her friends of her generation tended to think they would be seen by us adult children as "interfering" or "seeming to doubt you" if they leaped in, but were very helpful if asked and given specific tasks. I agree with your frustration, OP! But I'd just step back and ask if I were expecting things to be offered that I could get by simply asking. [/quote]

The ice thing is so annoying. This morning she said she didn’t want bottled water, but had to have an iced coffee drink. The great bakery we found said it’s not doing iced drinks anymore because it’s October, so we all went to a Starbucks so she could get her iced coffee. Then she complained they put too much ice in it (“why is it all wet and there’s so much ice?”)

As for the toddler: they are very involved with her when we’ve seen them before. I don’t know why they’ve been offering no help on this trip.[/quote]

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