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Reply to "DD is trying to hang out with a cool crowd where she is on the margins - how to steer her to others?"
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[quote=Anonymous]It's about what we called "popularity"- being accepted by girls who she (and probably others) perceives as "cool." If she finds other friends, she will feel like she wasn't good enough for this particular group. Talking about what makes a good friend doesn't help because this is about her self-esteem. She needs activities and options that make her feel good about who she is and can positively shape her identity and self image. When she feels better about who she is, she won't feel this need to validated by a "cool" group and will seek healthier, genuine friendships. If she doesn't begin feeling better about herself- this approval seeking/rejection pattern can continue into adulthood. Sometimes maturity takes care of it- I learned by age 16-17 that I wanted to be around people I genuinely liked and people who cared about my best interests. Figuring that out shaped my adult friendships and relationships- I quickly let go of people who did not treat me well. [/quote]
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