Reply to Feeling really lost

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Feeling really lost "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]I am really struggling. I am 44 and appear to be in early menopause (zero period for almost a year, not pregnant). I have been told that the average woman goes through menopause around age 51 so this is definitely early. I work FT and have three children - and I love them more than anything. I feel really unhappy though. I love my husband but I am not in love with him anymore. I don't know if it's the SSRI I am taking or perhaps the posts I see on Facebook from a friend from college but she divorced her husband (or is in the midst of divorcing him) and says she is enjoying dating and butterflies with new people.

I realized that weekends are some of my most "down" times because I don't really want to be spending time with my spouse. It makes me feel like a horrible human being. My parents were not a good example of a happy marriage. I didn't have a real boyfriend in high school. I met my husband right out of college and I can clearly - at age 44 - see I married the first guy I thought I had a connection with. It's like there are two different versions of me though. The woman when my hormones were okay and the woman when they weren't.

I am trying to keep it together and be a good employee and a good Mom and keep up my house in the suburbs and pay the bills and I just think "is this a mid-life crisis". I recently saw a friend and her cousin was visiting and seriously - I wanted to GRAB the cousin. He looked at me like I was beautiful and funny. I KNOW people say that you have to work on your marriage but I am just not in love with my husband anymore and I don't know if any conversations or time together will make me feel like I am in love again. I am not the person I was when I met him at 22. I find myself turning into a very wonderful person in some ways and growing and becoming confident in certain areas and then being a very ugly disingenuous person in other ways.

For someone that feels like this - other than focusing on themselves and trying to not be horrible to her family, what can I do? I mean this with all honesty. I read blogs by Glennon Doyle and see she has finally found happiness. I mean, who says at age 44 to their spouse "I love you but I am not in love anymore". What a horrible thing to say but sometimes I just want to say that.

Can anyone help me? What is happiness to a person anymore when you're in your 40s and your hormones are messed up and you're busy all the time and you realize "I had a crappy example of marriage growing up".

I like our life in a lot of ways and maybe a book and a therapist will help me. I don't want to be "that" woman that de-couples from her husband like Gwyneth Paltrow and miss out on raising our three children.

Please no snarky responses. I sometimes think about we have one life and this isn't my best life. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics