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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Gathering strength to leave"
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[quote=Anonymous]The above is so true. I left an abusive marriage. I put in 2 years of therapy with him prior to my departure. I reached exactly a lightbulb moment as you describe, where I realized that he was never going to change. Exactly as described above, DH was remorseful and tried for the next 2 years to get back together. One thing that helped me tremendously was to set a timeline. I promised myself that I would try therapy for 2 years as long as there was no physical abuse. At the end of those two years, nothing had changed. That allowed my to say to myself that I had done everything reasonable to save the marriage and I could move on without any guilt, remorse or second-guessing. Your timeline can be different, but it’s good to have one. Also, please get intensive therapy with a therapist skilled in emotional abuse. It leaves deep scars. It has affected me for years after in ways that I didn’t always understand. [/quote]
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