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[quote=Anonymous]Go to a domestic violence clinic and have some conversations with the therapists there, they can help you predict some of the situations that might come about.

I am a therapist but I don't specialize in abuse. However I have worked with women in abusive relationships and what I see, time and again, ismthat when the women leave the men become very remorseful and kind, they apologize and cry, they promise they will change, and the women go right back to them.  And then they go right back to being abusive. The women feel like they don't want to leave again because how many times can they go back and forth with children, it's not fair to them.

So here is my best advice. Write down every single detail of a very abusive exchange somthat you will clearly remember what he has done and said, and how you felt. You will forget how painful your life with him is, and being on your own will have it so own challenges, and then he will pile on the charm and weeping. It will be easy to convince yourself that you over reacted or this time he gets it and will treat you well.

I have worked with men who are abusive and I kid you not, they don't even understand that in a relationship you have to consider your spouses feelings. They don't get that. And I don't think they ever will, they just see marriage as something that should serve their needs only.

Leave and be done with it.  Go regularly to a therapist and ask him/her to talk to you every week about why you should not go back. Remember that his remorse and kindness is only showing because you aren't living with him, the moment you are back in the home with him it will start again. He.will.not.change. [/quote]

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