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[quote=Anonymous]OP we got a dog that is just nervous around some men.  One is my DH (my sweet DH--there is NO reason to not like my DH).

He was doing a few things to set her off--he came in the side door, often surprising her with his presence, and doesn't take his shoes off right away, so he's loud, big and clunky compared to the rest of us.

We discussed it with a trainer; she says dogs are often intimidated by men, many of whom are big, heavy, have that deep growly voice, and often have facial hair and generally are more bear-like than your average female or kid.

Our dog loves cheese.  So the trainer said, ok, from now on, only DH feeds her cheese.  This is the program:  What he does is watches TV or reads a magazine, and has a bowl of little pieces of cheese.  *Without* looking at the dog, he tosses a piece of cheese at her.  No eye contact.

After a week or so of this, then brief eye contact--look at the dog, look away, toss the cheese.

So this is because in dog-language, any stare or locked eye contact means some connection--in a non-scared dog, if they are just lying around, and you make eye contact, they will often get up and come over ('what do you want?').  But in this sort of relationship, the eye contact is seen as a potential threat and it scares them more.

Anyways if DH calls the dog and if the dog skitters in the other direction, he should never follow.  The dog must come to him on her own terms.  And we've noticed she never will come when he calls her--it's only after he calls her and is NOT paying attention to her, then she'll creep up.

DH also will walk the dog (I leash the dog and walk outside with them and hand the leash to him and off they go and all is fine.  I don't have him try and leash her because that can evolve into that DH following dog with leash, dog skittering away...)

I wonder if your male relative is trying too hard, crouched down with food, creeping toward the dog as the dog backs away; with people around, encouraging contact, "It's ok, Spot!".  Just have your male relative ignore the dog, especially no eye contact, and throw it food every once and a while.

So we have a very nice handyman-turned-friend.  This guy is sweet but does not understand dog behavior and when he appears and the dog is barking at him, he just won't disengage, just keeps creeping toward her, crouched down, with a treat.  No manner of explaining this to him seems to get it through his head that this is not good--coming onto her territory (our house) and coming after her with full eye contact, disregarding the fact that she is basically saying, "don't come closer" and getting more upset by the minute.  Recipe for failure.  She used to just be mildly afraid of him but now she just cannot stand him.[/quote]

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